Ematchusa's Articles & Dating Advice

There are definatley signs when a relationship is comming to an end. The problem is we just do not want to see them. When we are in the middle of the drama of a failing relationshpe we tend to put our blinders on and get caught up in the poor me saga. Letting go of a long term relationship is one of the hardest things to do. Change can be a scary event for most people. Even small changes freak some people out much less ending a long term relationship. People are so used to that person being in thier lives that they cannot imagine what it would be like if they were not there anymore. Even if the relationship is unpleasant. What would they do, who would love them? Now I am going to have to say that you should love yourself first before you even get into a relationship.

Some of the signs that the relationship is over can be pretty obvious.

If you dread the time you spend at home or with your spouse that is a pretty good indication that there is a serious problem.

If you are not making love anymore you, are just having sex because you feel it is your responsibility or so you do not want your spouse to think something is wrong. This can also be because you like sex. Alot of people stay together longer if the sex is good.

When all you do is agrue about the stupidest little things. Arguing about things that are not important to anyone is a big indication of hidden resentments.

These are just a few obvious problems. Most people do not know how to express themselves and tell thier spouse when they are not happy. They are afraid of how they will react. If you are honest and non judgemental when expressing your feelings, your spouse should be understanding. If you really want to work things out instead of breaking off the relationship then you need to learn how to communicate to each other.

On the other hand if you do want to break off a relationship the process is the same. Be honest and non judgemental. Do not accuse or blame. Sometimes people just grow apart or the lack of communication builds up resentments and hurt feelings. Hurting someone's feelings is never easy to do. You however have to think about your feelings too. Do not live in a bad relationship just so you do not hurt someone else. That is not fair to either one of you. If you do not love your partner the way they deserve to be loved than you are stopping them from finding someone who will.

A lot of people may not agree with this post but it is my opinion and experience. I may not be a doctor or psycologist but I have had experience in long and short term relationships. I can go on and on on this subject but I want to keep this short.

Just remember to be honest with yourself and your partner. Sometimes things just do not work out. Know the signs, accept, and move on. It is really not the end of the world. Love yourself and you will find someone who truly loves you for who you are.

Debbie
Ematchusa

Mothers Day is May 9.

Don't forget to send her your best wishes. She has done a lot for you through the years. Let her know that she was and will always be appreciated.


Anne

Ematchusa has decided to make our site completely free for our members. Members can chat, email, post in the forum, post ads, and more all for free. Invite friends, make friends or find that perfect match.

There is so much to do at Ematchusa.com you will love it.

Come on sign up and start socializing or find the love of your life.

Romance, what a beautiful feeling. Everyone wants a little romance in their lives. Romance makes you feel special and loved. Plan something special with your partner in mind. Figure out what he or she likes to do and plan a special event around it. For example if your mate or potential mate loves to go on picnics, plan a romantic picnic lunch or dinner at a spot that you know they will love. Try to think ahead for any unforseen circumstances. They will know you were thinking of them if you are prepared for just about anything.

Even if you are not sure how to be romantic, try something. This will show your mate that you are thinking about them. There are several ways to make your mate feel special and loved.

Here are a few examples:

1. Write a poem or a note expressing how you feel about your partner or potential partner. Be loving and tender in the note and tell them why you feel the way you do about them. Tell them how nice, fun, and beautiful they are.

2. Place short romantic notes around where they will unexpectedly find them. Sticky notes are good for this reason. Stick little romantic sayings around for them to find. Each one will make them smile.

3. Plan an evening out from start to finish. Make reservations, plan where you can take a walk, or ride a horse drawn carriage in the park. Planing ahead shows your partner that you are thinking of them when they are not around.

4. When you are on your special date, make sure that you do not have your cell phone on or start looking around at other men or women. Give your partner your full attention. Make your partner feel like they are the only other person in the world that night.

Romance does not have to be hugh or expensive. Just making your partner or potential partner feel special is all it takes. Give them a gift or a card that means something to them. It does not have to be an expensive gift. Just something from the heart. Expressing love is on of the most natural and romantic feelings. Think of the other person, I mean really think of what they like, don't like, or may something they said they wanted.

Basically it comes down to listening and getting to know your partner or potential partner. Just listening to them and responding to what they are saying will make someone feel special and loved.

Debbie
Ematchusa.com

Some people are additiced to the "chase". The feeling of getting to know someone you are attracted to, and knowing they are attracted to you is somewhat of a high. The first time you glace at each other, or hold hands, and especially that first kiss, can be an exciting adrenaline rush. You start doing things to get that other person to notice you.

Either way the pursuit of a new love can be very exciting. You have someone you are interested in but you are not sure if they are interested in you. You walk into a room where you feel they may be. What is the first thing that you do? You look around that room just hoping they will be there. Looking in every corner, at every face, you know they are there somewhere. Then finally you spot them and your heart starts racing, your palms start to sweat. How can I get close enough for them to notice me? Your mind starts thinking of ways to get their attention.

So you walk over to the area where they are and get as close as possible. Man they are gorgous. You finally muster up some courage to go say hi. The attraction, what a wonderful feeling. You find a place to talk and get to know each other a bit. You talk, laugh, and have great conversations. You are now on top of the world.

Then its time to go home. Its getting late and you just don't want to leave that person. You feel so good and so high you just don't want that feeling to end. But what goes up must eventually come down. Even though you exchange numbers and say goodnight, you will still feel that adrenaline for a while. How are you ever going to fall asleep.

That is the feeling that a lot of people are addicted to. The pursuit of that high feeling is why a lot of relationships fail. Don't get me wrong its a great feeling, especially if your feelings are reciprocated. But it is almost impossible to keep that feeling going in a true relationship.

A lot of people mistake attraction for love. True love is lasting and real. There are ups and downs. Try to keep you feet planted on the ground and take life as it comes. Don't try to force the issue, or devise ways to decieve someone into liking you and things will just happen naturally. It may not be with the person you thought you were in love with, it may be somone different but more suited to your personality.

Love yourself first and then others can love you too and it will happen naurally and without effort.

Debbie
ematchusa.com